Enneatype 3 - Authenticity and vanity image

Enneatype 3 - Authenticity and vanity

If you are interested in the enneagram, here you will find the complete description of Enneatype 3


People corresponding to enneatype 3 are characterized by a tendency to seek / need the approval of other people to feel worthy, so they strive to give an image that leads to that approval. Enneatypes 3 are generally working, competent, competitive and pragmatic people. They usually know how to make a career out of their great ability to grasp the needs of the environment and want to be admired for their successes. Consciously and / or unconsciously they tend to try to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture.

They are very focused on finding their goals for which they can be admired, such as being the most successful salesperson in the company or the "sexiest" woman in their social circle. They can find an area in which to excel and find the external approval they desperately need. But while enneatypes 3 focus their energies on success in any area, they often secretly suffer from the fear of to be or to become "losers". Sometimes, they may have difficulties in the private sphere. Their need to be approved often hides a deep sense of shame for who they truly are and unconsciously fear to be exposed if another gets too close. Enneatype 3 individuals are usually generous and nice, but they are really hard to get to know.

When a person of enneatype 3 is less balanced, they can become cold and ruthless with others in the pursuit of their goals. The problem with Enneatype 3 people is that they get confused about what they really want with what the "character" they play wants. If an enneaty type 3 has a "good" job and an "attractive" partner, they may be willing, through an act of self-deception, to ignore the internal impulses that tell them that neither his job nor his partner satisfy his deepest needs. Even the most “successful” ennea-types 3, who generally seem very happy, often hide a feeling of dissatisfaction in their depths.


They want to be approved, have attention, be admired, stand out and impress others.


He knows how to shine with his own light for his personal magnetism and for his ability to pursue goals and reach them effectively. Challenges stimulate him and he does not stop in the face of difficulties. They are passionate about the things that people appreciate it but that only a few can get. He knows how to bring people together around a goal and motivate them to fight for it.


When the workers of ennatype 3 tend towards ennatype 9 they become apathetic and disconnected from themselves.




Vanity is an intensely lived concern of living and distinguishing oneself in the eyes of others, giving more importance to appearances than to one's own experience.

FIXATION: Deception

The vain believes that other people also move on appearances, and therefore it is more important to pretend than to be.

DESIRE: To be admired

They subconsciously believe that when they have done enough to feel worthy and successful, then they will have all the admiration and attention they desire. For Enneatype 3 to be "admired" is akin to being "loved".


The desire to be recognized degenerates into an obsessive pursuit of success.

IMAGE OF ITSELF: The "successful" ego

They tend to believe that they will be appreciated and loved for what they do (and not who they are) and therefore try to give a successful image. They have a hard time distinguishing what they really are from what they appear to be.

FEAR: Failure

They fear failure because they believe they will be appreciated and loved only for their successes. They are afraid of being despicable or of having no intrinsic value.


He looks charming in front of others and adopts any image that "works".


It is repeated that things must be done "well" and "rightly", but also effectively and efficiently. These people tend to be competitive and strive to be recognized for their achievements.


Enneatypes 3, fearing that they are useless and worthless, cause others to feel useless by treating them with arrogance or contempt.


Tendency to identify with the idealized image that people in their environment expect of them. They are little aware of this identification and confuse their authentic desires with those of the "character" with whom identify themselves.





Vanity is the need for pleasure. Authenticity would be showing oneself, being seen, freeing the image and not falsifying one's emotions and needs.

Let yourself be guided more by intuition and emotion without pretending to be in control of everything so much. Bring attention to what you are feeling and act accordingly, truthfully, without self-deception.

Act freely, be more consistent with your needs. Do not act only to please the other but give yourself time to connect with the inner voices.

Enneatype 3 conservation: accepting criticism, releasing the image of perfection, allowing oneself to make mistakes. Don't be so obsessed with security. Look more inwards and recognize yourself. Indulge in more pleasure without it targets.

Social Enneatype 3: Groped to be less vain. Its virtue lies in simplicity, in getting rid of the effort to keep the mask and not denying its genuine emotions and needs.

Enneatype 3 sexual: stop seducing and accept that things happen more naturally. Less physical vanity. Release the image and simply try to "be". Stop and connect with your emotions, release fear.


Enneatype 3 must be aware that healing necessarily passes through awareness of the role it tends to play. He plays it when he's with other people, but sometimes even when he's alone. This because there is an unconscious identification with the ideal of the character he is playing. If, as Ennea Type 3, you don't know exactly what you want to do, don't be frightened and don't fall into the trap of following your role script.

Be aware of your tendency to work tirelessly and the fatigue that this generates. You can't work and stress all day. Even if you think you can do it, your body can't, and if you don't, you give it rest you will suffer from stress-like and / or psychosomatic symptoms. Resting is not "wasting time", but giving the body what it needs. Also, if your body is rested, it performs more and more efficiently than when you are under stress and anxiety.

Meditation is a very suitable exercise for Enneatype 3. Meditation is very far from the concept of doing nothing. It is a space where the person can be himself, connect with his needs and benefit from the effects of a slow and quiet ventral breathing. It is usually very difficult for people of this personality model to meditate and therefore it is very convenient for them to do so.

Don't believe that people will only appreciate you for your strength, skills and effectiveness. When you are with trusted people it is very beneficial to you that you can show some of your vulnerabilities and fears. You will verify that you are well received and understood by others; you will probably be loved more if they see you as more "human".


STORAGE: the word is SAFETY because they try to feel and do all things with the maximum possible safety. They are workers, managers, assistants and always in action. They tend to build a comfort zone from which they interact.

Of the 3 enneatypes, this subtype is the one that externally appears coldest, stiff and hard. They also seem less vain. They are said to be the anti-enneatype3. They show a harmonious personality but without apparent arrogance. Do not they show themselves emotionally in public (they do not show pain or sadness).


SOCIAL: the word is PRESTIGE for the image of success that they want to give to the company in the commitment to obtain prestige and social status.

They love power, work hard and deny their life. Organized, hardworking and capable. He doesn't like doing small things that go unnoticed, he likes doing big things that have social recognition. They like to interact with people who have a social status and that society considers them "important".

They are the most chameleons. Their clothing and behavior depend on the environment they are in. They are more sociable, nice and fun, but they also have a lot of character.

In couple relationships they tend to be the ones who dominate the relationship. In their life story they can come from very humble origins and this becomes the engine of their ambition.

They can be confused with the social enneatype 2 , but the latter wants to lead, while the social enneatype 3 prefers to be at the side of the leader.


SEXUAL: the word is ATTRACTIVITY, they are so called because they have a greater tendency to try to conquer others through their attractiveness.

People of this subtype desire to feel wanted by others, but with the sole purpose of gaining recognition. It could be said that "you look but you don't touch it".

Of the three subtypes of the enneatype, 3 is the one that has a greater tendency to be a little more shy, tender, insecure and sweet.

In couple relationships they have a tendency not to be the ones who dominate the relationship. In sexual intercourse they put more energy into pleasing the other than into enjoying.


They seem very confident people, but deep down (unconsciously) they are not. They need each other's validation to feel good and safe. This is why they are always immersed in a mechanism where they depend on others (out of need to seduce them with their image and effectiveness) and at the same time feel independent and safe when they dominate others (becoming dependent on them).

Love, too, must be validated by the other, so as to be put at his service. At the same time, while seducing the other with this love that he gives, he wants to get the love of the other. They are people who have a hard time believing truly in love because they believe much of this is the result of their ability to seduce and dazzle through their appearance, not because they are the way they are.

In this game or struggle in the field of love, his effort to be efficient diminishes his loving capacity. Dedicating so much energy to self-control and to his image, makes it hard for him to give himself to love, both to give it and to receive it. Love can become secondary to work or success; of minor importance.


Be effective and don't seek his approval, don't waste his time and get to the point. Is busy. Arrive prepared on what you want to say and if you can provide an outline and argue with data. What matters are the results and action points. Don't be a hindrance to him and don't hinder him. Respect what you said you will do to let him know that you are engaged to him. If you don't do your part, he will punish you. What he likes most is the effectiveness. Do it know everything he does well and what he highlights because his goal is to gain recognition.

He likes to get tangible results. Don't compete with him, it's better to cooperate with him. If you work well, don't expect me to thank you, consider it your duty.

How to get along with Enneatype 3:

What I like about being an Enneatype 3:

The difficult part of being an ennea type 3:

As children, individuals of Enneatype 3 tend to:

Enneatype 3 as a parent: