People of this personality type tend to be introverted and shy. They struggle and fear having to face life, they prefer to be discreet people who go unnoticed.
They feel comfortable in the world of thought, they are usually intelligent and thoughtful. They often become experts in the areas that attract their interest; many of them tend to be scientifically oriented, but they can too be attracted to the humanities or artistic inclinations.
They are often a bit eccentric. They feel little need to change their beliefs to fit the majority opinion. The problem with Enneatype 5 is that while they feel comfortable in the realm of thought, they have difficulty to try to deal with their emotions, the needs of a relationship or the need to find a place for them in the world. Ennea type 5 people tend to be shy, independent, and reluctant to seek help from others who might be happy to put yourself at their disposal. They are people who have little emotional connection with others.
They are sensitive: they feel that the world is invasive and that they have difficulty defending themselves (especially from people). To compensate for their sensitivity, they can assume an attitude of indifference or intellectual arrogance, which it has the unfortunate consequence of creating a detachment between them and others.
They have a hard time reducing the distance they put with others, but when they do, they are often devoted friends and companions in life; they are often not emotionally expressive, but often have strong feelings in their inner world. Few people understand what is happening beyond appearance. Enneatype 5s need privacy and have a profound fear of intrusion.
Because of their sensitivity and their fears of personal insufficiency, they fear being overwhelmed, both by the needs of others and by the strength of their own emotions. Sometimes they deal with this by developing a style of minimalist life in which few requests are made. Other individuals of ennea type 5 may act better in the face of life's demands, but they almost always retain their fears that life will somehow demand more. than they can offer.
They want to have the knowledge, to understand the surrounding environment, to have everything under control, as a way to defend themselves from possible threats.
He has a great capacity for intellectual work, he is meticulous and patient. He looks at things with great objectivity and is rarely flooded with feelings. He has very few needs and is comfortable in silence and solitude. It's a person calm and generous with her acquaintances, as long as she is not asked to get excited or to relate too much.
The ability to engage emotionally, to give oneself and to fight for others (ennea type 8)
"I do not ask for anything so that no one asks me" "I manage by myself."
Any request from the outside seems excessive and is refused When the loners of Enneatype 5 tend towards Enneatype 7 they become hyperactive and dispersive.
Greed is not so much for material things, but for knowledge and emotion. Introverts of ennea type 5 tend to give up on love and people, and try to compensate for this by clinging to their possessions and above all to their inner life. The containment in his expression and his self-control are proof of this.
The word "meanness", with its connotation of unconscious inability to give, refers to the predominant aspect in the strategy of the enneatype 5 in front of the world: the detachment and abandonment of relationships. Individuals belonging to Enneatype 5 tend to support themselves considering that their own inner world is more interesting than the outer one.
They subconsciously compensate for the impoverishment of feeling and experience with a more intellectual life.
His desire for competence can degenerate into a useless specialization.
He argues his actions in favor of knowledge and knowledge. Understanding how what interests him works is important for Enneatype 5.
These people tend to live in a world that is much more intellectual than emotional. The rational part embraces a large part of being, thus trying to compensate for the sense of existential emptiness. Knowledge and knowledge are often very stimulating for this personality structure. They like it and try to look like people with superior knowledge.
The tendency to avoid feelings, actions and relationships of this personality model causes an impoverishment of the experience and a feeling of emptiness. They fear they will never find a place in the world or among people. They are afraid of being useless incapable and / or being incompetent
Remain concerned and emotionally separate from others
Enneatypes 5, fearing that they are powerless, incapable and incompetent, cause others to feel helpless, incapable, incompetent and stupid.
When they feel "invaded" by others, they prefer to isolate themselves and go unnoticed. They feel comfortable in their rich inner world.
Enneatype 5 conservation: going out into the world, sharing, relating. Get away from yourself, question, show your emotions and desires, recognize your need and ask. Be honest. Get on instead of the other.
Enneatype 5 social: be attentive to the value of the here and now, value the everyday, the small, divide as one more, dissolve selfishness and the desire for greatness. Recognize your own worth. Taking more into account than the other.
Enneatype 5 sexual: to free the other and to go out into the world. Do not remain so attached to protection and dependence, open up to other relationships, be freer and respect the freedom of the other. Give yourself, follow your impulses and wishes.
The healing work for Enneatype 5 is to connect with the outside, with people and experiences. Don't analyze, don't compare, don't study. Try to live the experiences and the people, to feel that sensations they wake up. Strive to silence mental speech as much as possible. For this, it helps a lot to raise awareness in physical sensations. It is important to move your body, dance or play sports, and pay attention to the sensations of the body. This will cause you to focus less on thinking by pulling yourself out more physically.
Don't fool yourself into giving reasons that justify isolating yourself in your hobbies. All people need a minimum of contact with other people and all bodies need some movement to function regularly. Spend some of your energy on these tasks. To have internal balance one must have external balance. Remember that isolation is your main neurotic defense mechanism.
It is difficult for your childhood to trust others and even more so to believe that someone can help you selflessly. Use your instincts to know who you can trust, and when you have a personal problem try talking to her person. It probably won't solve any problems, but maybe you can get a different feeling.
You run the risk of experiencing negative feelings, such as pain or sadness, and even the dreaded feeling of failure. These sensations are part of life and paradoxically enrich us. If you are able to give more space for your feelings, you will find that they are not totally negative and that you will also be more able to feel the positive ones.
CONSERVATION: they have a tendency to isolate themselves from the rest of the people. They love being with themselves and living in their inner world.
Of the three subtypes, people in the conservation subtype are the most introverted, those who have the least resources for socialization, and those most likely to seek out and need long periods of isolation and loneliness. In these periods are with themselves and regenerate their energies.
They can choose to live alone without missing anyone's company. They have a habit of having solitary hobbies and interests.
They tend to have few friends and they may not know each other. They can have a great relationship with someone and spend long periods of time without seeing this person.
They are also the ones who try most not to need others. Few things are indispensable to them; they don't seem to take long. They make the phrase valid: "A man is rich in proportion to what he can do without." However, within their home (impenetrable fortress), they tend to store objects that they consider valuable or important.
They prefer no one to give them anything and not be indebted to anyone. It distresses them to think that due to a debt they may be required. He has a hard time publicly expressing his disagreement about something.
When people belonging to Enneatype 5 are in their isolated space they can immerse themselves in their thoughts which can become quite unusual, "rare" or eccentric. They have a lot of whimsy and imagination.
His greed is often shown by retaining knowledge and not sharing it. He is the most "stingy" of the three subtypes and tends not to spend.
When individuals of conservation type 5 are healthier they tend to be extremely aware of their field of interest. They can become great teachers, mathematicians, scientists, etc. They care about their health. They are self-sufficient and independent
When they are less healthy they tend to avoid social contact and take refuge in their "cave". They tend to feel invaded by the people they are dealing with and are tired of being in contact with them. They can be excessively protective of their time and space. At worst, they can be eccentric and prone to obsessive delirium.
ENNEATYPE 5 SOCIAL: it may come as a surprise that a character like that of enneatype 5, which tends to be solitary, has a social subtype that likes to relate in a group. How does it socialize? It does this through knowledge.
Of the three subtypes of enneatype 5, people of this subtype are the most intellectual and tend to focus their intellect on scientific topics. They love knowledge. Thanks to their great dedication to these issues scientific, they may have expert knowledge in the areas that attract their interest. They dedicate their lives to the pursuit of the extraordinary. They seek the origin of things; a special knowledge. They think with this knowledge will be happier.
Socially they try to belong to groups where the common link is the knowledge of a theme or hobby. They can do this as apprentices or disciples, teachers or instructors. For example, the scientist who meets a small group of scientists and talk about science in a language that only they understand.
When they talk about their knowledge topics they are very passionate, talking and participatory. Instead, when they are with people who do not share their knowledge interests or in conversations where these topics are not discussed, they may withdraw or show disinterest. They don't believe in the emotions of others. They experience emotions with distrust. They are afraid of being invaded.
They can have an elitist feeling when you think their knowledge topic is very important. Then, considering oneself aware of "something very important", a sense of superiority and arrogance may appear that justifies his difficulty in socializing with the rest of the people and their possible antisocial reactions. They may have radical attitudes, prejudices and derision towards others (except their group).
They are called TOTEM to idealize things (rather than see them real). For example, they idealize what the person they relate to should be, instead of seeing them for who they are.
They want to relate to the sublime, but this leads them to isolate themselves more from people. They seek the extraordinary.
They tend to separate and differentiate areas of their life. They look like those pieces of furniture full of drawers, perfectly separated and compartmentalized so that nothing mixes. Work colleagues, family members, and other people are clearly distinguished friends. Each group has its own space, its own "box", isolated so as not to become contaminated.
When the social subtype is healthier they can become experts in their field of interest. They are evaluated academically (research, training, knowledge, etc.).
When social enneatypes are less healthy they can be arrogant, condescending, and have a sense of superiority. They may worry too much about being part of a group with social recognition. They value titles too much academics and "knowledge".
SEXUAL: They tend to be the gentlest, friendliest, and most communicative of the three subtypes of enneatype 5.
Even though the individual belonging to Enneagram 5 tends to isolate himself as a defense mechanism, the sexual subtypes are characterized by the need for close relationships. Thus, sexual enneatypes 5 experience tension for the contradiction between wanting to isolate oneself and wanting to have complicity and intimacy with someone. They try to calm this tension by trying to invite some people who prove themselves worthy of their trust to their secret world.
Sexual enneatypes 5 tend to believe that if others find out how they feel and what their interests and concerns are, they may regard them as weird or eccentric. However, they want to share their thoughts and hidden worlds, and they cherish the hope of being able to have a deep connection with a person, a life partner, who can understand them. They are looking for someone who fits their "cave".
The sexual subtype is called TRUST because of its need to have someone they can fully trust. Maybe he just needs one person, but this has to be a trusted person. This person becomes the center of attention and the only one to give affection to.
They can obsessively chase their love from afar, but be cold and distant when it's close. They dream of getting close to some people, but they find this approach difficult. They can also interact closely with several friends, but without them knowing each other.
They need to be with someone and can become very demanding internally. In their search for the ideal couple, they tend to disappoint at not finding anyone who matches the ideal they have in mind. It is very difficult crossing their border: they constantly test the other person. They tend to ask their partner a lot, more than they give. They are jealous but neither express nor say it. They ask the couple to put up with theirs worst part, because for them this is love. They can also give sex instead of feelings. If they are disappointed in love, they can withdraw and remain unattached for long periods of time, even years. They can use indifference as a weapon.
It is difficult to have their trust, but when they give it, it is full trust; they seek complete fusion with the other person. It could be said that, in part, for them friendship is based on the exchange of confidences and that privacy it is equivalent to the exchange of secrets.
For this personality model, closeness to the other can be emotionally overwhelming in some moments. When they start a relationship, they may fear that they will not be able to emotionally satisfy their partner.
When those who fall into sexual enneatype 5 are more balanced they can be good conversationalists and understanding. They enjoy sharing secrets with the closest people and are people who can be trusted. Can be great lovers of their partner because they focus much of their energy on this person.
When they are less centered they suffer tension between wanting to be alone and with their partner. It is difficult for them to find people worthy of their total trust and they have a hard time getting close to the person they love for lack of social skills. They may feel misunderstood and rejected, disappointed, and spend long periods of time alone.
In love, as in life, people of this enneatype have a passion for avoiding bonds and especially if they are affective. They are people who tend not to ask others for love or anything else. With this trend by not being in need, they reduce their need for love and thus strengthen their independence and autonomy; they don't want to need others. They experience the desires of the other as expectations or requests that are limiting for them.
The person of ennea type 5 is used to having a bad image of himself. He is "stingy" with others, but he is also "stingy" with himself. He does not give himself satisfaction and feels he must obtain merit to give meaning to life. Can thinking that you are not worthy of love because you do not feel precious.
His concept of love is often quite functional. Usually he expresses little of his affection, so he becomes cold and indifferent. He tends to consider that those who exchange love affairs do so for some interest, both consciously and unknowingly.
The greatest problems in the couple derive from lack of availability, from the need not to be requested, from isolation and lack of empathy. They can experience sexuality as an extra need. Family life involves one loss of privacy and exclusive control of one's life.
Leave it free, but don't rule it out
Love confidential information and have a broad, detailed and relevant view of things. He doesn't like being called to meetings or circles of people. Don't make him argue with others. He doesn't like to fight. Don't tell him how he has to behave, he doesn't like meddling. Do not talk too much, for him it means that you think little. When talking to him, pay close attention and don't get distracted by external things.
Don't ask him to express feelings.
They will not receive the great ideas of others with fireworks, they prefer measure and detachment. It is best to notify him of plans in advance. He likes to prepare for changes.