learn to satisfy yourself with the little things. Seeing the other and respecting him, becoming innocent, relating as an equal. Seeing each other's love. Give trust. Connect with the pain of loneliness. to be more free and open in commitments, to respect the freedom of the other, to accept yes and no. Live more in the present. Give up power, share without dominating. Stop and feel the other. Contact pain and compassion. Feeling your own evil and others. share without dominating. Release the need for intensity. Contact tenderness and give oneself without many conditions. Stop the urge and take responsibility for the pain generated to other people.
People corresponding to Enneatype 8 are intense people who like equally intense emotions: they are strong in character, tough, decisive, practical, tenacious and energetic.
Enneatype 8 often have powerful instincts and strong physical appetites which they indulge in without feeling ashamed or guilty. They take action with great ease, they are people who face confrontations head-on, without mincing words. They want a lot out of life and feel completely ready to expose themselves and do it.
Enneatype 8 tends to be dominant and controlling; their unwillingness to be controlled by others often manifests itself in the need to control others in their place. When individuals belonging to this enneatype are balanced, this trend remains under control, but it is always there.
People with this personality type tend to control and try to be masters of their destiny. They must be financially independent and often have difficulty working for others; sometimes they may opt for a kind of outlawed mentality. However, most enneatype 8 find a way to be economically independent and be at peace with society but always have a particular relationship with any hierarchical relationship.
They are people who tend to defend the fact that they are "bad": they also have a tendency to reject their tender feelings and to reject those who show pain, sadness, helplessness, etc.
Because they don't like to show their feelings, they can have problems in their intimate relationships as these involve emotional vulnerability which is one of the deepest fears of Enneatype 8. Betrayal of any kind is absolutely intolerable for them and can provoke a powerful response. Intimate relationships are often the scenario in which the control problems of enneatype 8 individuals are most evident; they have a sentimental side that they don't even show to their close friends for fear of vulnerability. But while, on the one hand, giving one's trust is not easy for an ennea type 8, when instead he trusts someone, he becomes a strong ally and unconditional friend. Powerful protective instincts of Enneatype 8 appear when it comes to defending family and friends; they are often generous with those who care for them.
Enneatypes 8 are prone to anger: when they are not centered, they are aggressive and can resort to violence. Enneatype 8 enjoy intimidating others they see as "weak" and feel no remorse in passing over anyone who gets in their way. They can be crude, brutal and dangerous.
They want to be self-sufficient. They use their strength and do not like weakness. They want to dominate the context they are in and keep control of their situation.
He is the first to react to challenges, he fearlessly fights against the strong to defend the weak (provided that the weak ones take his side and do not fall into victimization). He has great confidence in himself and in his strength. He is very faithful to his rules, even if he has no qualms about contravening the rules he considers puritanical and hypocritical. He is intense in everything and loves strong experiences.
The ability to show sensitivity, compassion and tenderness (ennatype 2)
"Whoever does it pays it to me" "They will see it."
All in excess. No limit
When sure enneatype 8 tends towards enneatype 5 they become discreet and fearful
The term "lust" refers to a passion for excess, for the pursuit of intensity, not only through sex, but in all kinds of stimuli: activity, anxiety, spice, high speed, a taste for strong music, etc. This will to live with intensity is an attempt to compensate for a hidden lack of internal liveliness.
The term "revenge", rather than its literal sense, refers to the punitive, sadistic, exploitative and hostile character of enneatype 8. Its most common revenge is the long-term one, in which the individual takes justice by the hand in response to the pain, humiliation and helplessness he experienced in his early childhood.
They consider themselves capable, independent and endowed with a vigorous energy, they feel ready to overcome the difficulties of life.
From a self-image in which they feel strong and capable, they despise those values opposite to their own, such as weakness, fear, pain, compassion, etc. They fear that they are weak, that others will turn against them and take their revenge.
From a view in which they consider that in this world "the big fish eats the little", they try to be the big fish. Although they hate weakness and weak people, they enjoy exerting their strength in the defense of their closest neighbors.
The desire to protect oneself degenerates into constant struggle.
Those who belong to enneatype 8 believe they are acting for justice: they have done harm to them (as children) and now it is justified that they do it too. They see the world as a jungle where the strongest wins, and they do everything they can to win. On this premise they consider it reasonable to fight for their interest. Also, they are considered to be more honest than others, because they don't tend to fake loving feelings and they don't get nice.
Dominating others and demanding that they do their will.
Enneatype 8, fearing that others will hurt or manipulate them, instill the same fear in others with belligerent threats.
They feel free to do what they want without guilt or remorse given the denial they get from their "superego" or from their "but from above," that is, the denial of their internal moral authority.
After all, Enneatype 8 wants to be intimate with people; to do this it is necessary to change one's attitude and remove the armor of indestructible. We must have the courage to show vulnerabilities and suffering, this makes us more human and allows others to come closer. If people empathize with you, it will be easier for you to empathize with them as well. This is not to say that you have to go around the world with your heart in your hand, but that you need to show more to the people you care about. It's important that you have someone you can really trust, who you can open up to, and who you can listen to (and really listen to).
Don't assume that people will reject you, because then you will likely reject them and subconsciously send them signals of this rejection.
Remember your tendency to "excesses", be it idle or work. Not only do you need to be aware of not falling into idle lust, but you also need to be aware of your possible tendency to overwork when something motivates you. If you give everything in one activity, you will end up exhausted and not calm enough for other activities or to be with yourself.
The key word for this subtype of enneatype 8 is SATISFACTION for its quest to satisfy itself on its own.
In fact, the conservation subtype of Enneatype 8 is the one that puts the most energy into being independent and therefore seeks to accumulate power, domination, and material wealth. The hierarchical position gives them security and for this they also seek financial security. These people seek power, but regardless of their social image, they want power for their own benefit.
Among individuals who fall into the eighth type, the conservation subtype is the harshest, quietest, most territorial, and least noisy. They can take what they need aggressively, as if they have the right to do so. They are very natural and do what they want.
They could be business people: the stereotype of a tycoon, of a man who made himself and created his own company, where they apply their pragmatism in an inflexible way looking for their own profit.
They can be those very aggressive managers. They can experience this pragmatism, which at times could be defined as cruel, as something "realistic". They tend to see "civilized behavior" as the paint that the weak use.
They can appreciate material more than people. It could be said that they tend to have a "survival" mindset, where they try to make sure they don't lack for anything. They used to be workers and fight for what they want. Sometimes they can live in an eternal struggle for more.
They are used to being housewares; in their homes they love to be the ones in charge and can be dominant towards their closest neighbors. They can justify this being dominating (or intimidating) their close friends by claiming that they have to harden up and that they are doing it for their own good. Your world view is that this "is a jungle where the strong survive". You can fight steadfastly for your home and loved ones.
Those who belong to enneatype 8 conservation cannot bear frustration and cannot lose. When they are angry it can be really difficult to talk to each other because they are blinded. They are violent and they want to fight their "enemy".
When enneatype 8 conservation are more balanced they tend to be very protective of loved ones; they are also generous with these and try to keep order and comfort for all of them.
When the conservation type 8 are less centered, they tend to be very territorial, possessive and aggressive in the face of any possible threat. They can see life as a struggle and believe that only the strong survive.
Of the 8 enneatypes, the social subtype is the one that seems a little more sympathetic and more benevolent. They can be wolves with lambskin.
The word COMPLICITY suits them because they try to join other rebels like themselves to fight against the system, the norm or whatever. They tend to bond in groups and have a cause or ideology. They create their own justice and enjoy their power.
The social subtype in groups likes to have a leadership role or position of power. They enjoy conversing on any topic and giving their opinions. They can be very strong in arguments and be amazed when they realize that others may feel offended by their opinions or that they prefer not to have a say when they are against them.
They tend to conceive of friendship as a pact of mutual protection; they are often loyal to a group, protect and love to make binding agreements with group members. They want the commitment of the team members and that everyone benefits from cohesion. They defend and fight for the members of their group, but they also expect loyalty from them. In fact, friendship and loyalty are important values for them.
For their strength and energy they attract people who want to be protected. They can be the leader of the group. They are very supportive of the weakest, but they are also possessive and may want to dominate their defenses.
The social ennetipo 8 are very polar, they do not want ambiguity; "for or against". They tend to assess very quickly whether a person is "friend" or "enemy".
When social enneatypes are in a healthier state, they are protectors of the people they care about and particularly of the weakest. They love to talk and discuss, relax, have fun and organize social events with their friends. They can be strong defenders and fighters of their beliefs, truth and justice. When they get it wrong, they recognize it.
But when they are in a less balanced state they tend to want to have power among the people they relate to. They can be very sensitive to rejection, disrespect, and betrayal.
The key word is POSSESSIVITY for its tendency to possess the people it loves and also objects (I own, have, is mine).
Of the enneatype 8, the sexual subtype is the most intense, challenging and rebellious. They love being the "bad guy". The need to be visible and intense is at almost any price. They are more dominant than arrogant.
They want to have stability and loyalty in the most intimate relationships, they can easily feel betrayed and they are inclined to distrust the other; that's why they tend to test their friendships. The sentimental partner of an ennea type 8 sexual subtype plays a fundamental role in his life. They also tend to challenge their partner by showing toughness and aggression. If that supports it, then they feel calmer.
They can be possessive, dominant, and domineering with their partner, especially if they don't have full confidence in this. They can also be dependent and jealous, and in a state of imbalance they can be harassing.
They are used to seeking intensity through the relationship of a couple: they love to enjoy intense emotions and can become addicted to adrenaline. They can combine being sentimental with being aggressive. They look for the love of a couple with voracity. They may express their love implicitly or in a way that is difficult for their partner to see. They have hypersexual behavior and no taboos.
For them, a relationship of friendship can be a mutual protection pact against a dangerous world.
They despise people who show weakness.
When individuals of the sexual enneatype 8 are more balanced they want to have an equal relationship with their partner, where they do not feel the need to control and possess. They can show themselves vulnerable and tender to their partner when they have enough faith in this. They are protective and loyal
When individuals of sexual enneatype 8 are less centered they want to control and dominate their partner, they may not accept that this has its own initiative; they tend to be suspicious and exacting loyalty. They can be very possessive, dependent, abusive, vindictive, sadistic and, in the worst cases, commit crimes of passion.
People of enneatype 8 are characterized by the intensity with which they live things and in love they are no different, but that lusty intensity is contrary to love. The sexual impulse replaces the amorous intimacy in the couple.
Enneatype 8 in love (as in other contexts) tend to impose themselves on the other, to be invasive, harassing and exploiting. They expect the other to show their love to them through submission.
These people are used to denying their tender feelings and their loving needs; they experience them as a weakness. Usually they deny their needs and do not receive what the other gives them; in this way they secure their great need for independence and autonomy. Also, they have a hard time believing what the other is giving. He likes to control his loyalty by testing him in compromising situations.
With these characteristics, it is no wonder that the couple love of the Enneatype 8 is not very sentimental. Seek contact in the present moment, but without compromise or dependency. In this quest, he tends to only want to find pleasure, because he denies himself his need to receive kindness and only lets his desire for power emerge.
People with this personality type despise those who reject them. The best thing is to face them by telling the truth, but without provoking it, otherwise it will destroy you. Try to speak clearly and without complaining: they want results and if you don't have them, you better tell them clearly. Enneatypes 8 want to feel important: respect them and recognize their authority. If you tell him he can't do something, he will do it and put it in front of your eyes.
Speak in terms of "if" or "no", without subtleties, ambiguities or philosophical ideas, because you respect yourself you have to be firm. When it bothers you, tell him instead of keeping quiet: he is troubled by the awkward silences. You need to set clear limits if he is your subordinate and remind him whenever he tries to overcome them