People with this personality type essentially feel the need for peace, harmony and tend to avoid conflict at all costs, both internal and interpersonal. As a potential conflict arises, individuals belonging to enneatype 9 try to avoid it by withdrawing as many are also introverts. Other people still of the enneatype 9 lead a more active social life, but continue to strive for conflict prevention. Most enneatype 9 individuals are fairly easy to treat and adopt the strategy of “going with the flow.” They are usually robust, modest, reliable, pleasant, tolerant, and tend to take an optimistic approach to life. They often have a deeply rooted faith that things will get done somehow. They have a desire to feel connected, both to other people and to the whole world.
Enneatype 9's inability to tolerate conflict sometimes results in a conservative and reluctant approach to change. The change can cause unpleasant feelings and stop Enneatype 9's desire to stay comfortable. Those in enneatype 9 who are less centered seem unable to motivate themselves to take action and make effective change but when change comes, they usually adapt without great difficulty. They are often worth more than they may seem outwardly. In reality, enneatype 9 does not tend to give sufficient value in general and their modest attitude often seems to invite others to overlook their important contributions: this can cause an unconscious anger within the psyche of individuals belonging to the enneatype. 9, which can explode in occasional fits of anger, or manifest a passive-aggressive attitude. Sometimes, being neglected, this generates a source of deep sadness which they rarely give voice to.
Enneatype 9 often "fuses" with their loved ones and through an identification process they take on the characteristics of the people closest to them.
They want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tensions, to keep things as they are, to resist what can alter or disturb them.
Reacts quickly to support others in achieving their goals. He is a helpful person, with an affable character and very quiet; he has a good concept of himself. He does not like conflicts and has the ability to mediate, trying to make the contenders understand that they can get along. He has the ease of relaxing, resting and having fun, because he knows how to get problems out of his mind.
- lost quality:
The ability to develop one's potential and to achieve ambitious goals (Enneatype 3)
- Fixation: indolence
"The best thing is not to look for complications." "I do not want to think about it."
- Passion: laziness
Forget about yourself when it comes to setting personal development goals
When complacent Enneatype 9 tends towards Enneatype 6 they become anxious and worried.
Perhaps the word "laziness" is not what best describes this enneatype as they are used to being quite active people. It could be said that this word refers to the "laziness" or difficulty that people of this personality model have to look within themselves and become aware of their authentic wants and needs. Enneatype 9 is characterized by living with what we could define as an "internal void". They are people who instinctively react to their environment, but without putting their real needs first.
The word "indolence" could be understood as a resignation to life. It is a rationalization of the passion with which these people argue their attitude of adaptation to the environment, without bearing in mind that there is a "numbness" or "narcotization" of their desires and needs.
They are people who appreciate and desire a state of mind where there is as little tension as possible. They believe that when nothing in the world bothers or upsets them, and all the people in their world are happy and at peace, then they too will be at peace.
Desire to be at peace that degenerates into stubborn neglect.
They love to feel peaceful and calm people.
They have difficulty with conflict situations, confrontation and to place limits on people. They fear that reality forces them to face their problems.
They support and justify their attitude in the name of peace and tranquility.
To "escape" and resist others in a passive-aggressive way, without facing them directly.
Enneatype 9 fearing to lose contact, they "disconnect" to make others feel that they have lost the connection with them.
In order not to get in touch with their true needs and not to expose themselves to feel pain, they try to carry out actions that distract or "narcotize" them (eating, drinking, reading, television, etc.) as well as to seek ideals, ideologies and values of other.
PSYCHOLOGICAL INERTIA, emotional disconnection under a sympathetic and jovial attitude, lets himself be carried away by others. Lack of inner experiences.
AUTOMATIC, attachment to routines and customs. Traditional and conservative.
RESIGNATION, benevolent, renounce himself and life. It adapts to the circumstances.
GENEROSITY, kindness, indulgence, support. Good listener, active, always ready to help, understanding.
Complacent, he can't say no, helpful, he adapts to others, forgetting his needs.
MODESTY, poor self-concept. Little interest in shine.
DEPENDENCE, it lives through others. It tends to symbiosis with one person or with a group. Active participation.
Enneatype 9 conservation: contacting emotions and needs to know what you want and not get lost in others. Express yourself and recover spontaneity and detach yourself more than the material. Relying on intuition.
Enneatype 9 social: less participation and service to the world. Show real emotions and needs. Don't please so much, set limits. Stop the activity and take more time to withdraw, look within and be more self-aware.
Enneatype 9 sexual: less fusion with the other. Contact your body and emotions, dare to be and show yourself for what you are. Cultivate love for yourself. Put limits on others. Seek your own meaning in life.
Be aware of your tendency to underestimate yourself and not justify it by arguing that it is good to be humble and just; do not delude yourself. Equally, become aware of your abilities and of what you can bring with your peace and serenity even just with your presence.
Be aware of what your true desires are, ones that perhaps only benefit you. It is not selfish to think of yourself and put yourself ahead of others.
Use the word "NO". Others don't expect you to always say "YES". They will appreciate you more if you are honest with them and say a few "NO" to them from time to time. Some people may be used to the fact that you always give in and may be surprised that one day you will not. Remember that the healing of Enneatype 9 passes on many occasions through the anger of the people close to them (because they were used to them always giving in). Also, it is always better to say "NO" at the beginning, rather than saying "YES" and then resisting in a passive-aggressive way.
Don't deny your anger. You have the right to be angry. If you feel this emotion it will be for something. While anger can take you out of your state of inner peace, it won't harm you, you will feel better in the medium term. It could be said that anger acts as one droplet after another that fills a glass and when this glass is full, then the water overflows. In order for this glass not to overflow, it is important to go "draining" this anger when it appears. It is better to drain little by little than to let "the glass overflow".
CONSERVATION: the key word is APPETITE for the voracity in consuming activities (food, television, reading, drink, etc.) in order not to contact his real needs. He wants to put his emotions aside. Of the three subtypes of enneatype 9, this is the strongest and the one that has the most contact with his needs, the one that is least carried away by other people. From the outside he sees himself as a happy person, even if resigned.
Enneatype 9 of the conservation subtype privilege the maintenance of a state of inner relaxation and tend to avoid what can interrupt this state: for this they try to get away from the problems of the world and seek comfort in everything they do. They have their own way of doing things, their own rhythm and their philosophy of life; they try to resist any changes that might alter their mood.
They fill their time with small activities so as not to leave room for the onset of discomfort or suffering. Usually these are household and consumer type activities, such as food, drink, television, etc.
Those who belong to Enneatype 9 conservation are the most inclined to spend time alone. In an insane state they can represent the stereotype of the lazy person who is on the sofa at home eating, drinking and watching television. Their comfort and their tendency to consume can lead to not playing sports and having problems with obesity and with alcohol. In their desire to build an easy life, they may come to show themselves less intelligent than they really are in order to be less in demand by others. They tend to reduce life expectancy in order not to be disappointed.
If they are urged to change their behavior, they can react very stubbornly.
They hardly get angry with anyone and it is difficult for them to say "no". It is very difficult for him to vent his anger. However, if he gets very angry he can burst out and show all his anger, but that usually doesn't happen.
When Enneatype 9 conservation are more balanced they know what they want from life and try to achieve it without getting distracted by other tasks. They face the problems that are emerging and are able to deal with those people who want to take advantage of their goodness.
When conservation type 9 people are less healthy, they don't focus on giving vent to their greatest and most authentic needs (what I want, how I want to live, with whom, how, etc.). They may not realize they have these needs. They try to satisfy themselves in their daily life with small consumption actions, such as food, drink, television, etc. They tend to take the easy way out in the short term. Their goal is to maintain a comfortable life and a quiet mind, they become anxious if something disturbs their sleepy mood.
SOCIAL: the key word that describes it is PARTICIPATION because "participation" is the means it uses to interact with the world. Individuals belonging to social enneatype 9 seek a sense of well-being through social connection and friendship: they are attracted to situations in which they can be part of a group. In fact, for this subtype it is essential to be part of a group in order not to have the anguish of not being part of anything.
Of the three subtypes of Enneatype 9, these are the most sociable, affable, outgoing and cheerful. They may resemble enneatype 7. They are the most active and task oriented. They like to work energetically on projects and activities that are important to others (they may look like Enneatype 3, but the latter work for their benefit). The social Enneatype 9 forgets its own needs while it acts to satisfy the needs of others, it merges into groups dedicating a lot of energy: energy that it does not dedicate to itself. Social enneatype 9 takes the group's purpose and mission as its own and works to achieve them.
They are stressed by the need to merge into a group and the need to maintain some independence. When they immerse themselves in a group they can get lost in it, trying to satisfy everyone's needs: it is very painful for them to have conflicts with the group and they have great difficulty in saying "no". They can also take the identity that the group gives them.
Children of this enneatype like to be part of the group, but discreetly, they don't like to stand out, they try to do everything possible to achieve harmony in the group. They are very adept at mediating between the parties to a conflict and helping to find a solution that is satisfactory for both sides. His greatest fear is that of being expelled from the group.
Even if he doesn't like being the center of attention, due to his overall thinking and intuition of what the group is thinking, he can be a good leader by guiding the group in the direction he really wants to go and maybe he didn't know it consciously. . On the contrary, it can also be that person who takes a secondary role (such as the secretary of the others).
When the social enneatype 9 is in a more balanced state, it participates positively in groups, contributing to both its own happiness and that of the group. They work for the team, but without neglecting their personal needs.
When social enneatypes are in a less healthy state they suffer tension between their desire to participate in the group and their unwillingness to take responsibility for what they do in the group. They can lose their identity and take what comes to them from the group. In the same way they can forget their needs in favor of those of the group. They have a lot of trouble saying "no" in the group. They can be very stubborn if required.
SEXUAL: the key word to define this subtype is FUSION because it has a tendency to seek a sense of well-being by uniting with the other. This union is much more than an adaptation, it is a true "fusion" or symbiosis with the other. They give themselves completely and seem to have no desires of their own; their desires are those of the other. They live life through each other and pay no attention to their needs.
They focus and yearn for an ideal of romantic union (similar to Enneatype 4). They have high expectations of their partner: they are looking for the "right" partner. Sometimes they can be critical with this, but they usually tend to deny its flaws and idealize it. They can be jealous, even very loyal, and they can be more inclined to allow themselves to be mistreated.
Because of their great dedication, they can suffer a lot to decide who to "merge" with. They can give themselves openly in their relationship, be content with very little, but ultimately be disappointed. If they are dissatisfied with their partner, they may seek out other people who complete their life and sometimes, therefore, may choose to engage in two different relationships, but which at the same time meet their different needs. Some may be very afraid of being alone.
Of the three subtypes of Enneatype 9, this is the most imaginative, sweetest and most emotional. They can be confused with Enneatype 3, but differ in that the latter is aware of the effort it makes to adapt and conquer the other.
When sexual enneatype 9 is more balanced they promote a sense of unity and deep connection with the people they are close to: they love to make the people they are dealing with happy and try to be happy too.
On the other hand, when they are less centered they feel lost and find their identity only by merging with another person: they experience the joys and sorrows of the other, but without connecting with their own authentic needs. Some may not be held accountable for their conduct. They are easily disappointed and depressed when their relationship doesn't work out.
Enneatype 9 is characterized by an emotional "laziness" in looking at oneself. If people of this enneatype fail to become sufficiently aware of their needs, nor of their inner child, they will not be able to become sufficiently aware of their love relationships. Therefore, they can be "decaffeinated" (not very intense).
People of ennea type 9 are people of action. In their relationships they are willing to give and do for each other but even if well intentioned, they do it in a shallow way, like doing the right thing to play an institutionalized role.
They are people who lost a deep love as a child and who grew up resigned to this. It may happen that these people want to fill that gap by giving to the other, projecting their need onto the other: thus, it can happen in the case of maternal or couple love, that this is experienced by the child or partner as invasive.
Some individuals of Enneatype 9 (especially those of the conservation subtype) express love for themselves by seeking comfort in the consumption of food, tobacco, alcohol, etc. Even if this behavior is only a way to replace true love for oneself.
Always confirm that he agrees to do something and do not confuse his silence with his assent: Enneatype 9 are affable but love to command and acknowledge their authority. If they show themselves humble, it is because you too show yourself that way. If he's your boss, try not to make ambiguous deals and understand what he expects of you to avoid surprises.
Enneatype people like to give their opinion and often do better in achieving goals. To motivate them, offer attention and concrete missions. You have to rely on him and tell him that what he does is important and that you need him.