To date, there are various techniques that teach the person how to manage the emotions that give rise to adequate habits to channel everyday stress, insecurities and disorders that can make you lose enthusiasm and weaken your energy, dampening your abilities, creativity and patience in certain situations. We talked about it some time ago in this article.
It is undeniable that they are an essential part of your life and the goal to be achieved is not to repress or cancel them but to be able to regulate them through emotional management, in order to lead a life full of opportunities and satisfactions.
According to neuropsychology, a normal person can process an average of 6,000 thoughts every day. Among these, 95% is represented by thoughts similar to those of the previous days while a smaller slice is made up of thoughts related to the past week.
Learning to manage emotions and think differently in order to change your attitude towards certain situations, ideas or other people, is not an easy thing at all, this is obvious. This difficulty comes from the fact that no one is born with the awareness of what they are and how to manage emotions.
Wayde Goodall used to say that it is not the difficult situation that makes us waver but the way we react to it.
Throughout childhood and often beyond, we communicate and react to many stimuli by crying, from the very first moments of life and this is in fact how we come into the world: crying.
All this lasts until someone tells us that we should no longer cry and they do so by saying that to be strong and not show weakness we must not cry. Often this teaching is assimilated and adopted in everyday situations, repressing anger and it is done in a dogmatic way, because it was taught in this way without however giving other explanations.
The models to follow become those strong and heroic figures who do not allow themselves to be overwhelmed by fear, who never lose patience, who do not get angry, minimizing the models to follow to take control of the management of emotions, both in children and in adults.
As explained by the director of the Stanford University laboratory of psychophysiology, James Gross, knowing how to adopt suitable techniques for managing emotions in daily life, is the key that helps to prevent serious disorders such as that of borderline personality or even diseases such as depression.
It is more in these cases that the control of emotions and thoughts that tangle in your mind can become a means to live in health and physical and mental well-being.
There are many techniques for controlling emotions. Before discovering what they are, digressing between various dynamics, concepts, thoughts, proposals and points of view that can be found in various editorial sources, it is necessary to clarify one thing that you must keep in mind: the management of emotions is the result of a job personal learning which is indispensable in order to create a set of specific tools for yourself. This is because the tools that work for you may not necessarily be as good for someone else and vice versa.
On the other hand, for many it is easy to believe that starting with mindfulness, one of the tools available, you can solve all the problems you suffer from. The problem is that meditation is not suitable for everyone, not everyone is able to find that mental and physical calmness that is needed for emotional management, for anxiety control and for keeping all worries at bay through 'trendy' techniques that work with most people.
The ideal method is to find a multidimensional goal, a path in which to establish a harmony between physiological and cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects, with the aim of reaching a single purpose, that is to draw calm, greater mental concentration and more in general, well-being.
Below we deal more specifically with the 5 most effective points to follow, to understand how to manage emotions. You can try them all in order to find the one that best suits your case but above all your personality.
As can be easily understood, the management of emotions is not always possible because it is not always possible to control the events that occur during the day. Despite this, some of these situations depend on you and are under your control and for this reason you can decide whether to implement them or not, evaluating in which case you would gain more in terms of well-being.
If for example, doing things in a hurry because you woke up at the last moment brings you stress from the early hours of the morning and this then turns into a general malaise at work that affects your relationship with colleagues and lasts for the whole day, just wake up a little earlier giving you the opportunity to do things more calmly.
If the idea of having a lunch with your reunited family generates tension and anxiety, you could choose to spend your day in a different way and do something that instead brings you joy and well-being, perhaps spending it with someone you like to share. the things you like, or dedicating a day to yourself.
But be careful, this method is not applicable in every case: for example, you cannot avoid showing yourself at work, in public or deprive yourself from taking a plane. These choices may in fact cause more anxiety than the feelings you would experience by choosing to deal with these situations.
There are many things that can bother you: your co-worker has been successful where you have failed, your friend has had better results in the gym or has lost more weight than you, the vehicle you are on is running too much and you think you might. have an accident, the media do nothing but publish news stories and bad news and all this leads to other crimes ...
If in your mind you often find these thoughts you find yourself constantly under tension, in fear, you reduce your self-esteem and you may lose control of the reality that surrounds you. To be in control of the management of emotions you have to take your eyes off what causes you anxiety and fear, move away from the complexity of that situation and look inside yourself.
Bring everything back into balance by taking care of yourself, listen to yourself, do everything to think about something positive and constructive in your life.
Here and now is the motto that is taught to those who want to understand how to manage emotions. However, the 'here and now' is not always applicable, which is why we give you a valid alternative. Think about your near future, without going too far, for example think about tomorrow or in a week.
The fear and stress you are experiencing is in the present, your frustration is 'here and now'. Here is a case where you have to think about tomorrow.
Plan short-term goals that you think are easily achievable: I want to achieve this within two days, I want to gain more confidence, more courage, I want to make this decision within a week.
By setting easy goals in the near future, you will also feel more motivated to take action now in order to achieve them.
Reaffirm your past successes. Some of your future goals could be achieved by practicing methods of lived experiences. You've already done it once, so why shouldn't you succeed a second, third, and so on?
A well-known philosopher said that thoughts do not come when we want them, but when they want them. What Nietzsche said is also applicable to concerns.
Stress and fears are like crows waiting on the roof of your fears to croak on them increasing that sense of oppression and turn off your optimism and leave you in the dark.
Take back control: Whenever a concern shows up at your door, leave it out. Even if she keeps knocking, make her wait. In that moment you are weak and you cannot manage it, you cannot hold it forever, sooner or later it will enter. But what you can do is decide at what moment to let it in and if you choose one where you are stronger, you can manage it.
So choose a specific time of day to manage all your worries. You will realize that of all those who have knocked on your door, few will be left when you decide to open it to face them.
Thinking about a dismissal, a debt you can't pay, a partner's possible infidelity can lead you to a dead end road where you slowly wear yourself out.
The mistake is to keep feeding these thoughts without thinking about what might happen if this thing happens.
If you get fired you can always have more time for yourself and maybe have the opportunity to start a project you were thinking about.
If you have doubts about your partner try to set the record straight and make sure your fears are unfounded and if they are, the end of a relationship is not the end of everything. It can be an opportunity to find yourself or the truly right person.
If you can't pay off a debt there is certainly someone willing to help you, for example your family, or you can see something to get back some of the money.
These are just some of the points you can put into practice to manage your emotions and if you want to know more, visit this page.